Hi guys and gals!
These last few months have brought about a lot of changes for me. I've been rather hard to get a hold of for anyone outside of my 'real' life, and I'd like to sort of address that here, hopefully explain my situation a little better.
First off, let me apologize to any client, friend, or other that I have fallen out of contact with in these last few months. I'm not an extrovert, and while I do want the same recognition and camaraderie that all artists crave, i don't recharge from interacting with people. Since the birth of my boys I have been steadily losing ground on getting my own tasks done, along with those that I want to do for others. That's not a complaint really- turns out I actually really like being a father! But what I used to think was 'having no time' was a gross misunderstanding compared to my current situation. Fortunately this should clear up in about 18 years or so.
Another factor of my lack of productivity has been my mood. I'm depressed all the time. My job is a major contributor in this. This isn't anything new, but that just makes it that much worse to me. I feel like I'm stuck right now between supporting my family and doing something I hate-and have hated for more than 5 years. I'm not the best 3D modeler, and there's no opportunity for other 3D work where I live, and I'm not moving to California any time soon, and while i understand we make our own prisons, I can't accept advice right now like "get a better job," or "make a plan!" things like that. My plan weekly is to not quit by Friday, and I usually only have time for that and a bit of sketching here and there. And it's trivial to say it like that, but drawing for me is better escapism than video games or movies or hikes, etc. It's definitely vital to my well being and I'm not giving it the time it deserves. I got a ps4. It just sits there.
Things aren't all bad. In fact things are actually doing alright, just manifesting in ways that I don't feel I have a lot of control over. I'm going to post 2 new pieces today, one will show up in the new D&D mod I'm working on for Venger. I'm working on a video game, but I'm not making any promises it'll ever be a thing. I hope to get back to drawing some new artwork soon. But I'm realizing as things go forward here that my days of taking commissions may be numbered.
As much as I love the extra income and making people happy, I'm too much of a mess to do commissions right now. Not until something dramatic changes, anyway. I thank everyone who has asked for artwork recently, and I'll continue to make art when I can. Making money is important to me ( everyone really) but I cannot hold myself to any deadlines with all this unknown gumming up my shit.
So yeah, why say all this? i dunno. Why do we all say anything ever I guess. (oh, the existential winding conversations I have had on this very topic!) I wanted to let you all know the current situation, apologize for being so distant right now, and say thank you as always to the people who enjoy my work, give me nice comments, and support me in my endeavor to become a moar better artist. Look for more art soon as always, and have an awesome day